The Struggle

Well, today I've been here for two years and one month.  I thought I would blog SO much more, but my muse has been on a very, very extended vacation. When she comes to visit, we have the BEST time and she helps me create some AMAZING things, but, sadly, she doesn't come as often as I would like for her to visit.

I feel like--maybe--I just need to try to force it? What do y'all think? Maybe I should just make Sunday mornings a blog morning?  I also would like to start working on my hero bird series because I truly think I could do something useful for kids who are learning about life.  On another note, completely, it'd be great to have an alternate stream of income, yeah?

The fact is this:  I'm getting older.  I mostly enjoy teaching and can prolly do it (in person) for several more years yet.  I likely need to learn how to do it online and market that skill also.  I can do that when I'm even older, while sitting down at my desk at home.   I'm getting older and have nothing in savings really, so I need to figure out some passive income streams, if possible.   

I've thought of several.

1.  crocs affiliate

2. children's books

3.  teaching English online

4. editing people's writing

5.  maybe a VLOG on one of the Social Media sites?  Not sure about what, though.   Teaching or  DYI stuff like making your own vanilla extracts,etc, or Interesting historical facts?  or What life is like in the (non-American) countries I'm living in?  Or similarities and differences  between languages?

What do y'all think? does any of that sound interesting?

Another reason that I'd like to figure out a few passive income streams is that I feel like I'd like to find a country to live in (very near the beach, but not the hurricane prone Carribean) like Costa Rica, Chile, Aruba, Bonaire, Curacao where I can maybe teach English part-time (or full-time) and live a more laid-back life.    Y'all know me.  I'm not the most normal grown-up on the planet.    But I also need to be able to keep earning/saving money and live in a place with healthcare--because of my diabetes.

I am leaning toward Spanish-speaking countries because I am more proficient in Spanish than any other language and I feel like studying it  most mornings between now and February 2 to 3 years hence would make me even more able to live in a country where it is spoken by a majority of the people.  Also, the countries I mentioned have lots and lots of beaches.    Plus, latin society is more laid back than Korea.   (I think I might be 'plus-ing' a lot!) 

So, that is where my thoughts are leaning.  I have so much research to do.   If any of y'all can think of non-Atlantic Ocean beachy, Spanish-speaking countries where they need 'English-As-A-Foreign-Language' Teaachers, send me a note. :)    

So, that is what is up, y'all.   I'll try to do a blog soon about what I've been experiencing in the schools where I'm working.  I just don't want to do too many 'complaining' blogs. LOL

💖🧡

I am so....

 I am angry and annoyed and just plain exasperated at my bosses and their unreasonable expectations and the extra work load they are putting on us, all the while taking prep time AWAY from us. I found out from my immediate superviser that she was unprofessionally, unreasonably, indecently, and unkindly screamed at for 40 minutes about something which was WAAYYYY not important enough to receive that hateful kind of communication.    Honestly, I'm struggling at this job, but like it enough, usually, to have considered trying to stay an additional year at this school until things line up for me to make some slight changes, but her (the big boss) behavior toward my immediate boss just put the nail in the coffin for THAT idea. Who knows when she'll try it with me.  I gave my word when I signed a contract 'til 28FEB25, so I'll stay and work, as to the Lord, but I don't think I can support that kind of behavior afterwards.

 I don't like having to move every year.  And part of me wants to try to teach English to adults.  I'm praying to God for a work situation where I will be appreciated, the bosses are honorable people who pay me on time and respect everyone and I make enough to save money for when I'm too old to work. 

I'm also praying for guidance as to where I should move when I am too old to work.  I've been looking at Costa Rica, Aruba, Curacao, and Bonaire.   We'll see.  I really don't want to go  home because my experience and skills do not amount to enough for me to live even close to comfortbly and without having to depend on someone else.   and I like living in other countries. Don't get me wrong. I love America, but I also love other places.   If you're a praying person, please pray for me to recognize shut doors and strive for and recognize open doors.   

Okay, that is enough whining. Plus, I worked WAY longer than I thought I would have to on this extra work load AND I'm not even done yet; however, I work better in the early part of the day than I do in the later, so I should get some sleep so I can get stuff done in the morning. Thanks for 'listening.'

Love y'all.

Things I learned and Did in Bali over Christmas, 2023

 Well--I arrived home after nearly 24 hours of traveling, this morning at 5 a.m.  It was foggy and rainy and cold at Incheon Airport--which was COMPLETELY opposite of what I had left in Bali.  It took me five more hours to get back to my cozy apartment, for reasons, I will discuss later.   The vacation was okay, but it definitely was NOWHERE near my favorite one, ever.  

I planned well, in advance, I thought.  I bought a ticket on the airport shuttle for 3:30 pm on Saturday, which would get me to the airport a full four hours in advance.  I planned to stop at a convenience store to get more cash out, but the one I stopped at didn't have ATM and by the time I got to the bus stop, I didn't mwant to risk missing it by crossing the big city street and walking to the bank nearby.  So, I decided to wait to use an ATM at the airport. Lesson # 1--go the bank in advance and get all the cash you want beforehand!  I happen to have one of those 'under your shirt safety/storage' necklaces where I can store all my cash/id cards/passport, etc. out of sight and just keep $20 bucks in my pants pocket. I will DEFINITELY do it this way next time. 

The wait in line at the airport was semi-long, but I think I only waited a total of about 45 minutes.   I was so happy when she didn't make me check my baggage--which I knew was overweight and was planning to check--cos that would have cost me $25!   After I checked in, I was planning to get some cash, go through security, and leisurely eat something at the airport. I'd been so busy cleaning and packing that, at that point in the day (around 6:45 pm.) I'd only eaten a hard boiled egg, drank a doctor pepper, and eaten half of a plate of sausage and stir fried vegetables.  I was busy and justified it cos I wanted the apartment clean and the laundry done and I knew I'd have time to eat at the airport. I mean... I was going to be there 4 hours early!

Alas--the initial aspect of my 'Comedy of Errors, Vacation Style' was about to begin!  I stood at the ATM and put my card in.  It didn't go in, so I pushed it once and then again.   Finally, the machine took it, but...did NOT begin the process of working.  Here is lesson # 2 that I learned on my vacation.  If the ATM doesn't take it, immediately take it out and go to a different machine.  The machine never gave my card back.  I started panicking.    A nice Korean airport worker (who could speak English) stopped to help me and called the number on the machine.  They said it would take an hour to get to the machine, which would have been okay cos it was only 7:05 and my flight didn't leave until 9:15.    But let's be real, y'all, yeah?  It didn't take and hour.  About 8:15, I got in line at the security area which was very, very long.  I was hoping things would go well, but I was starting to be afraid that I wouldn't even make my flight.  Thankfully, one of the policemen who has stopped by several times during my hour and 10 minute wait for someone to come rescue my card.  He motioned for me to follow him and very leisurely walked me over to another section of airport and placed me at the end of a very short line for 'priority boarding'  which made me security experience only about 15 minutes long.   I was so thankful!  Finally, through with that part, I took a tram from our section of the airport to the International Departures section and I made it to my gate with the $150 and 10 minutes to spare.  

I got a water at the Aunt Annies and my phone rang! It was the credit card rescue guys! They had my card! I was so happy, except that my plane has just started boarding and I wouild have had to take the tram all the way back to the main terminal, go outside of security to meet them by  'The middle bathrooms' to pick it up.  There was no way I would have made it.  Strangely enough, it turned out that we sat at the gate for about 30 plus minutes after boarding, so I MIGHT have actually been able to make that journey and get back to the gate in the alotted time, but they likely would not have let me on board the plane.  So, I left....without any means of support except the $150 in my pocket.  Now, Bali is VERY cheap, but I soon learned that  $150 won't cover 7 days of food and the $47 Instant Visa at the Bali airport.  I had looked it up and thought the Visa was only $25 USD.  Nope.   

So, thankfully, I have an alert and thoughtful friend who offered to send me some moolah via Western Union.  It only cost $8!  Yay!  Upon receipt of my 4 million 88 thousand and 44 Indonesian Rupiah, I felt more secure.  It made me feel a ton better and safer in a place one quarter of the world away from my home.  Lesson # 3 was this:  Overestimate what you think you'll need.  Things always come up.  I spent the whole first day Thinking I was okay and then spent every evening counting and recounting to make sure I didn't overspend.  You'd be surprised, even though they're cheap, how easily things add up and how many things you'll need to pay for that you didn't think about or expect!  I didn't think about it 'til maybe Wednesday or Thursday, but I'd have to pay for meals AND water in the AIRPORT for the last 24 hours of my journey home.  That always cost twice as much as everything else.  Next lesson?  Next time, I'll make sure i have at least $100 in my pocket (and/or a non-machine eaten ATM Card) in my pocket before I start the journey home.  Also, ask your hotel if they have a shuttle to the airport, how much it'll cost and PAY IT IN advance, so that concern is off your list.

Be prepared (which y'all probably already are) to be hounded and manipulated and harassed by the people who work in the streets making their daily bread from tourists.  I understand they are trying to feed their children, but DUDE!!! these people are persistent.  Finally, I learned to say:  "I'm making gift buying decisions on _________ (insert name of last day here.)  I also learned to NEVER LEAVE THE HOTEL without my headphone and music on.  I could just smile and wave as I passed by them. I couldn't hear them, so Perhaps they were just giving me hearty greetings.   As much I wanted to help everyone (and a good deal of my extra money was spent in such a way) I need to learn to harden my heart, y'all!!!!!) 

For me, living in Bali for a week was also weird because it was SO HOT that I pretty much LOST my appetite. I mean, I recognized I was hungry, but after about four or five bites of any meal, I was uninterested in eating again.  I LITERALLY lost 8 pounds in Bali.   I wasted so much money on food that I didn't eat.  And the only cheap food was the greasy stuff that wasn't good cos it was so hot.  Things started tasting like sandpaper in my mouth within five minutes.  I ended up keeping my calories up partially through liquid sugar which kept me alive, I'm thinking.  I was pretty much always hungry, but could never eat much.  I don't remember it being like that in Texas (which can be pretty hot) but maybe it isn't as hot (or maybe the humidity.  

The other lesson from food was that I COULD enjoy light stuff like fruit, etc. but there was the danger of 'Bali Belly"   So the only stuff I could eat heartily  (and I discovered two days too late) was fruit which was likely washed with Bali water and made me spend half my day in the bathroom.  So, no fun walks around on the beach unless I waited at least an hour after every meal to see how my body was going to react to the food.  Sigh.   

I was also allery sick the whole time.  I think my room has mold, maybe? which is kind of reasonable for that area of the world.   So, I was sick from Bali Belly and stuck in the room that was making me cough and sneeze and have a stuffed up nose. and now that I'm back in Korea, the congestion is gone, but all those days dealing with allergies has given me an infection. I'm blowing my nose and irrigating, and I fear a shot in the bootie is in my near future. LOL   One thing about Korea, you can ALWAYS depend on a shot in the bootie when it comes to allergies!  I'm pretty sure I've had at least 4 since I've been here. LOL

Oh, another lesson about Bali for y'all, if you're thinking of going: Pretty much EVERY restaurant and EVERY service you receive at your hotel will come with a 10 % tax for paying out the workers and a 10% government tax, so anything you do will come with a large added cost.  So, keep that in mind.

The service prices are pretty great, though. I got an hour massage, a pedicure, and a manicure for $ 11.   I got a foot scrub, and hour massage, a green tea body scrub, and a 40 minute green tea body soak for (2 hours) $21.   If you brought enough money, you could have a massage every day.

Surfing lessons and snorkeling is cheap.  Most people charge about $13 for a hour lesson.  and Snorkeling (a 4-5 hour affair) is only $56!  Really great if you have the extra money (which next time I will.)  and/or you're not struggling with Bali Belly. 

I did afford to have an hour long surfing lesson which was fun, but OH SO tiring!  Also, I did a terrible job at surfing. I never once got up on the board.  IF i want to try it again, I'll have to work on my upper body strength and maybe do some yoga/stretching exercises on the regular.  Those surfing lesson really reminded me that I am 54 years old and things aren't necessarily going to be as easy as my mind thinks they'll be! LOL

I wrote everything up until here the day I came home from Bali and didn't publish it, so it became I draft which I didn't look at again until today, a full five months after I returned home.  I can't really remember many of the stories I thought I'd tell, so maybe I will stop here.  It was a semi-fun vacation, which I might try again, but it was objectively one of the worst vacations I've ever had.  None of the others were TERRIBLE, so this one was either, just the worst one I've had! LOL.  Anyway.  I'm looking forward to the next one which probably won't be for more than a year.    Talk to y'all later.

The Phantom Limb

 

For Loralee

J. Andrew Hobdy

She dances upon my eyelids
as I close them for slumber.
I can feel her beside me
like a phantom itch.
Phantom Limb written by J. Andrew Hobdy in autumn of 1996

Her voice lingering on my ear
as the echo of a tympani in an empty room
As a yell on the barren plain.
Her love is the spring
renewing all life,
bringing rain to my dry and thirsty soul.
peace
She is the lighthouse amid the tempest
filling the black void with a brilliant light
her love is as constant as the tide
often low and ebbing
lying in wait
but sometimes raging.
I long for that rage.

BBC Book List AKA Books I should read

I've got some work to do!  I've read less than a quarter of them!

 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 

 

6 The Bible 

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte 

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell 

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

 

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare 

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

 

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

 

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy 

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

 

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 John Steinbeck The Grapes of Wrath

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll 

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

 

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens 

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

 

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

 

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

 

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery 

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood 

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

 

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel-

52 Dune - Frank Herbert 

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

 

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens 

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon 

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

 

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck 

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

 

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

 

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens 

72 Dracula- Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce 

 

76 The Inferno - Dante

 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

 78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

 

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens 

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker 

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

 

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

 

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery 

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

 

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare 

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl 

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

From the Cobwebs: I am the Fury

 01 Sep 06 Friday

I am THE FURY
Current mood: Victorious!! (ROOAARRR)

My superhero alter ego is THE FURY!! I know that this might come as a surprise so quickly on the heels of my last post, but it just goes to show ya that even miserable people can rise to the occasion every now and then. I'll begin where I ought...at the beginning:
It was approximately 2:30 a.m. on Friday the 1st of September, 2006. I was sleeping quite comfortably in my nice, warm, sleep number bed (which was set to 35 which is the most comfortable according to me, to Lindsay Wagner, and to the salesman who sold it to me.) when I was awakened by the sounds of what MUST have been a whole load of bowling balls being dropped on the floor in the room right above mine. In between the huge bangs on the ceiling, I heard the mellifluous sounds of the young couple who live above me fighting. Those two have really great vocabularies, I'll tell ya. Well, they were arguing at what seemed like the top of their lungs, hurling the "F" word helter skelter, stomping around the apartment, throwing bowling balls willy nilly. It was quite an adventure listening to it all. I wondered for a moment if perchance they were rehearsing for some strange rock opera. The man of the house up there is, by the way, a musician, so perhaps that is what was happening. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep. I hoped, momentarily, that they would confine their stomping, fighting, and bowling in the front room and stay out of the room directly above mine, but they didn't. I sighed and unwrapped myself from the sheets and got out of bed. They were getting louder and louder, so I decided it was time to find my trusty broom. Well, my well intentioned pounding on the ceiling was to no avail. In fact, they just got louder. I sighed some more. I really wasn't interested in having to go up there again and knock on the door. The last time I had to do this particular chore, it was 4:00am, so at least today, they had gotten into it a little earlier.
Now, here is the fun part, y'all: Things started changing up there. I don't know if the man of the house realizes, but when it is quiet in my apartment, I can hear whole conversations up there. He was getting mean to her. I started hearing her shout, "Don't you hit me!!!" over and over again. Then I heard her cry out in pain. It was at that point my Superhero alter ego started turning around in circless inside of me (You know... the way Wonder Woman does it?) My blood was boiling!!! I could actually feel my blood pumping in my veins. I didn't really know what to do, so I grabbed the nearest weapon that I felt I could reasonably wield and I dashed up the stairs to the apartment above mine.
I really sorta wish I could have had a video of the moment that followed. I'm sure I must have looked really scary. I pounded on the front door and was just as surprised as they were when the front door flew open!!! (I suppose it was that they just didn't shut the door properly and not the super human mother-like fury that my fists were wielding) I'm sure that if this was a movie, my hair would have been flowing back behind me and a large halo of light would have been encircling my head. As I walked into the entryway of the apartment, I saw her cowering on the couch with her hands covering part of her face (well, to be honest, she was only PARTLY cowering cuz she is one touch chick AND it turned out he hadn't actually HIT her. He had spit whiskey in her face and her eyes were burning like crazy). I looked straight at him and roared (seriously, I roared!!) "WHAT IS GOING ON UP HERE?" He started back-tracking and I heard some nonsense flow out of his mouth...something like, "blah blah blah we'll quiet down up here blah blah blah sorry blah blah blah." He was sounding a lot like Charlie Brown's teachers, and well, I was having none of that!! I brandished the weapon in my right hand (the one I felt I could reasonably wield which would cause some fear in him? It was my telephone) waving it wildly about and roaring, "THAT DOESN'T MATTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER? DO I HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE?" I even might have slipped in an "I got my eye on you, Buster." However, at that moment, I was so upset that I forgot to do the the thing with the first and second finger where I'm supposed to wave my fingers back and forth between my eyes and his disgusting, sorry, offal-like personage. That would have been pretty cool, but whatever. I must have scared him this time cuz he actually acted like he might behave and he and she must have said something to convince me that he was telling the truth because I found myself walking down the stair back to my apartment. She came down a few minutes later pleading with me not to call the police and then many more minutes later, she came down with the baby and all the baby paraphernalia and she stayed with me down in my apartment for two hours talking and trying to call her mother to come get her. It ended up that she went back upstairs and locked herself and the baby up in the bedroom and told the man of the house they'd talk about it tomorrow. Who knows what will happen, but she promised she'd let me know what she decided. Needless to say, I am one tired superhero. (The Sleepy Fury isn't quite as scary, is it?) I had only slept two or three hours when the bowling balls started flying and I couldn't get back to sleep after it was all said and done, and sadly, very soon, I must report to work. ~~SIIGHHH~~ Man, I sure hope I don't come across any Kryptonite or garlic (or whatever it is that is my weakness) today whilst I'm out and about. I'm not sure I could survive the battle.

Slowly, Autumn (2007)

Slowly, Autumn is drifting this way.

I sensed her yesterday--but just slightly--as the wind playfully blew hair out of my face as I crossed Lamar on my way home from breakfast at Mickey D's.

Slowly, Autumn is strolling this way.

I noticed her last Tuesday morning as I walked down Guadalupe through the crunchy, brown leaves, whilst smelling the crisp, cool air.

Slowly, Autumn is sauntering this way.

I saw her today in the large piles--10 feet high, at least--of multi-colored pumpkins which waited, patiently perhaps, just outside the doors of the Whole Foods Market on 6th.

Slowly, Autumn is heading this way.

I felt the excitement lingering in the air--and in the hearts--of both the 17-year-olds and the 38-year-olds as they sat en masse, under the stadium lights screaming "Go Buffaloes!!! De-bill the Cardinals!!"

Slowly, Autumn is meandering this way.

I wish she'd hurry up, though! I know this is central Texas and the heat makes her a bit lethargic, but...

...Oh Autumn! Run! Come this way!! Oh Autumn! Rush! I'm ready to play!!