Day 3 (but 'calendarly' 5...i didn't write yesterday

Sunday, 13JUL25 5:53 p.m. Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-Si

I remember once--when I was in the Air Force and stationed at the Air Force Academy--that I was talking to one of the sergeants who was also stationed there and working in the X-ray department with me.  We were walking out to our vehicles and heading back to the dorms. (Well, she MIGHT have been going to an apartment or home. I can't remember if she lived in the dorms or not--I think not, though.)   Anyway, I can't remember how this subject came up, but I responded to something she said with something similar to "There isn't anything really i feel that makes me feel like getting up in the morning"   I was NOT telling her I wanted to kill myself or anything, but I just didn't feel like life was all that great.

In some SMALL ways, I feel similarly now.  I DO love teaching.  I DON'T love the overall environment at work. It is slightly toxic and full of drama.  I'm kinda afraid that working here in Korea will ALWAYS be like this.  I don't have close friends and am struggling with finding friends that I can be close with. And I'm struggling with learning the language which would PROBABLY help with that making friends thing, ya know?   

I always feel tired and I'm struggling with making sure I treat my body well in regard to what I put in it and the exercise I give to it.  Creatively, I don't really feel like I'm doing much to 'exercise' that muscle either.  I have nebulous plans to do things in the future, but...sometimes I'm not sure how to make them happen.

I will admit that I"m studying languages pretty often and now I"m writing nearly every day in hope that I'll be inspired to work on a few more "Hunter, the Hero Bird' books, but I struggle with eating right and getting enough rest, and basically doing things that will make my life one which is THRIVING.  

I keep trying, but I--sometimes--feel like the effort is fruitless at this moment.    I don't want to give up, though.  Any advice?

Thanks for letting me vent.   

Love y'all!