A LOOK AT THE WORLD THROUGH THE EYES OF A CONSERVATIVE FREE-SPIRIT

Monday, July 28, 2025

CTM, Day #6

 Tuesday, 29JUL25, 10:58 a.m. Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-si

Today is going to be hard.  Have you ever had to eat a liquid diet for 24 hours?  I am having a test at the doctor's tomorrow, so the only thing I can eat that is solid today  is a bowl of rice porridge around 3:30 p.m.  Then, at 7 p.m, I have to take 2 dulcolax tablets, then at 8 p.m., I have to drink 1 container of Miralax (or something like it, every 30 minutes for 1-1/2 hours, then at 4 a.m. I have to do ANOTHER one.  

I'm having several tests tomorrow, and--obviously--one of them is a colonoscopy.  I'm going to be sedated for it, and there going to do 2 more tests, I think while I'm under.

All I know is that I'm going to be VERY hungry by the time it is over.  I'm kind of halting between 2 sides about the aftermath.  I mean, I've been trying to change my eating lifestyle, and my brain wants to say 'Look! You're system will be empty! Start off on a good foot.  Cut up some carrots and cucumbers and thaw some lentils!" Bring it with you and you can eat it whenever the doc says you can. You'll be starting off really well!!"  and the other side of me is saying, "There is a KFC next door to the doctor's office.  Wouldn't mashed potatoes with gravy be GREAT!!"   Of course, potatoes are acceptable on the new diet lifestyle, so maybe if I paired it with a coleslaw, it would be okay??

I'm afraid of how today is going to go because I'm already very hungry and it is only just past 11 a.m.   Maybe I should take a nap?


Friday, July 25, 2025

Calling the Muses, Day # 6

 Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-si,  9:31 p.m. Friday, 25JUL25

I have fallen down on the job this week.  I think the last time I wrote was 8 days ago.  However, in my defense, this week has been EXTREMELY hectic.  We had a HUGE project with the kids, which I was mainly in charge of the execution of.    It is over now and the kids did very well, but I'll tell ya....I am GLAD it is over.   I learned some lessons, though.    Let me explain the week.

We had a song festival.  Since I'm the 'singing' teacher at my school, I was in charge of choosing the songs, teaching the kids the songs, and (me who has no skill) choreographing the dance moves.  

Strangely, the youngest two groups learned their songs the quickest. Of course, their songs were VERY easy.  Y'all have heard of "Oh, Mr. Sun" and "I am a baby giraffe" haven't ya?   Those were the sungs sung by Clover Class and Violet Class.  They are all 3 turning 4 years old.They did very well.  

The next oldest group did 'Fly Me To The Moon' and they learned the words and the movements SO well.  At first, the powers that be didn't think they could do it, but I knew they could. Plus, one of the things I REALLY want to do while I'm here is teach these kids some of the music I loved (and still love) from my childhood.   I know that Frank Sinatra is well before my time, but I listened to the oldies station just as much as the 80s station when I was a teen.  Tulip Class was the one who sang 'Fly Me To The Moon" and it was really great.  They are all 4 turning 5 and were AWESOME. I wish I could share the videos of them.

The Next class has 14 kids so they required that I teach them two songs, so that the class could be divided into two groups.  This class is Sunflower and I love ALL of them; however, that class is FILLED with BIG personalities and it is hard to keep them on task.  I have to use my 'mad mom' voice WAAAYYYY too often in there.   So, I chose 'L.O.VE.' by Nat King Cole for one group and we ended up with 'Don't Worry. Be Happy' for the other group. I had originally chosen 'Three Little Birds' by Bob Marley for group two, but the-powers-that-be decided it was too hard.  I tried to explain that it was TWO verses sung over and over again, but they vetoed it for the much harder and longer DWBH, which we ended up cutting down to just two verses anyway. 

The issue with Sunflower is really that there was twice the work to do in the same amount of time as the other classes had (namely 30 minutes once a week for 3/5-4 months) We ended up NOT getting the songs down until the VERY end of the prep time (basically...this week)  I think they ended up doing a great job, but then *I* am only worried about them having fun and looking mostly capable and NOT what the parents think or what all the other schools in our franchise think.   I think they were super, super, JINJA cute.  :)

The last class to perform was my DAISY class and we picked a song that we have been singing the entire year (since March 4th) and that was "Friday, I'm in Love" by the Cure.     They really did an awesome job and looked so cute and they really liked the song.  August is my last month for officially teaching them singing, as a class subject.  So, we’re covering ‘I will’ by the Beatles and ‘Puff, the Magic Dragon’ by Peter, Paul, and Mary.  So, far they are liking the new songs

I think it ended up being a really cool song festival.  Thankfully, it is over and I was informed of several things a) I won't be teaching singing for the second semester for Sunflower and Daisy. They won't be having ANY singing classes.  Instead, I'll be doing a kindergarten version of an Essay Writing class for them. HOWEVER, we will have another song festival in Late January AND Daisy Class will sing a song at their graduation ceremony on February 26th.   I WILL be in charge of that and I'm pondering which songs to choose.  I want something that says "Yes. We're in kindergarten, but the world is our oyster and we're going out to make it a better place"    So far, I've thought of Natasha Bedingfield (sp:) 'Unwritten', but it IS really long.  I suppose it could be shortened to have fewer verses.   Do y'all have any ideas for songs?

Also, as a total aside,  I've been praying and would love it if y'all would pray (or send good thoughts) that I and my co-workers can find jobs next year where there are very few reasons for us to complain about anything.   I'd like to find a job near the water (I'm considering Busan/Haundae/Mokpo) where  they understand that we're fairly intelligent and capable if we got all the way over here and that they  give us the support we need, but not try to micromanage every single, tiny aspect of the job.  I'd love to be respected and be in a school where they engender loyalty and where we the teachers and they, the powers-that-be, can work together to continue building a school that will really make the world a better place.  I really want to find a school where I can possibly stay until I'm ready to leave Korea.   Keep that kind of thing on your prayer list, won't ya?   

Okay, It's nearing my bedtime. I've got to go teach five young girls at a children's home in the morning.  

Love y'all!

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Calling the Muses, # 5


 

17JUL25  Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-si.  6:33 a.m. (Thursday)


If it weren't for the fact that Fridays are Fridays, Thursdays would be my favorite day of the week at this school.   I get 2 thirty minute prep periods instead of just 1, and I have a whole hour after the regular day ends.   We're at the end of the month, so there is naturally a lot of grading to do.  Plus, the September schedule is due at the end of the first week of August.  PLUS, I'm in charge of the Song Festival.  We're down to 4 days to practice because NEXT WEDNESDAY is the Song Festival.   I also have to memorize my 'host' speech to be given in  between each performance.


I have a LOT to do for school PLUS two of my students are moving to America after the Summer Break, so I have to work on their paintings. Last year, I personally painted each of my  students one of my child-like bird paintings and I want to be able to give one to Chloe and Joshua before they leave, also.  So, as you can prolly read, the next week will be full of stuff to do.  


I also just found out that I'll probably have to teach writing to my two oldest classes next semester, instead of singing.  Especially considering that one of those abovementioned classes is SUNFLOWER, I'm feeling a bit intimidated.  There are 14 kids and each lesson has to be done in 30 minutes.  SIGH. I basically have to turn into a drill sergeant with this class.  But...I LOVE the kids. I just REALLY don't like the way that the 'powers-that-be' think that all this can be done in the time allotted.  It is REALLY too much.  AND knowing which person in my chain of command is choosing the books that I'll be teaching from....I don't have a lot of faith that a book will be chosen that will be reasonably done in the class time.   


Thankfully, I WILL have 9 whole days off of work beginning on the 26th, but it won't be entirely restful.  On the 30th, I have one of those doctor's appointments where they check EVERYTHING.  I'll have some heart tests, a colonoscopy, my normal diabetic check-up, and one or two other things.  SIGH.  Then on Friday, the 1st, I'll have a dental appointment.  That one isn't so bad cos I scheduled it at 11 a.m. and then afterwards, I can go straight to Taco Amigo and have my normal birthday lunch. After that, I'l take a very long subway ride ( 2 hours and 30 minutes (Seoul Metro is huge!!!) Guess I'll have to study my languages!) to the island where Incheon Airport is and stay at a hotel about 350 feet from the beach.  I'm really excited.  


Anyway, that is enough for today.  I love y'all!!


Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Calling the Muses, Day # 4

So, it looks like some mornings are busier than others, so I don't always get to this project every day.   I feel like that if I keep working on writing every day, then eventually, I'll be able to finish  several books in the 'Hunter, the hero bird' series and maybe go to a publisher to see if they would publish them.  Worst comes to worse, I can self publish (print upon  purchase) on lulu.com. Anyway, I'm trying to show up for myself (and my future self) as often as possible. 

As you know, I'm a kindergarten teacher in Seoul.   The job is hard and challenging, but mostly due to the administration and NOT the children.   I just love them.  They have such good hearts!  The other day, one of them--we'll call him Rex--sort of hugged me around the knees.  He is SO strong, though, at 4 years old, that he moved a certain way and we both fell down.  I scraped my right forearm and I got a huge lesion on my right knee (which has--by the way--received many, many, many, many similar lesions throughout the years).   It is a little swollen and infected while it is healing, but life goes on.  

What makes me smile so much is that--upon sitting down after the fall and injury--nearly ALL of the female students in my class (between ages 3-6) came up to me and were 'patting' me as if to comfort me, giving me kisses on my hands, and saying 'It's all right!"

Even yesterday--a full 4 days after the fall--when they saw the (now scar) on my knee, they tried to 'kiss it to make it better.'   It was so sweet.  Of course, I told them to kiss their hands and touch it, instead of using their lips on my scarred knee, but it was definitely sweet and the thought counted quite a bit   

Just in case, I haven't told you--I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

Sunday, July 13, 2025

Day 3 (but 'calendarly' 5...i didn't write yesterday

Sunday, 13JUL25 5:53 p.m. Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-Si


I remember once--when I was in the Air Force and stationed at the Air Force Academy--that I was talking to one of the sergeants who was also stationed there and working in the X-ray department with me.  We were walking out to our vehicles and heading back to the dorms. (Well, she MIGHT have been going to an apartment or home. I can't remember if she lived in the dorms or not--I think not, though.)   Anyway, I can't remember how this subject came up, but I responded to something she said with something similar to "There isn't anything really i feel that makes me feel like getting up in the morning"   I was NOT telling her I wanted to kill myself or anything, but I just didn't feel like life was all that great.


In some SMALL ways, I feel similarly now.  I DO love teaching.  I DON'T love the overall environment at work. It is slightly toxic and full of drama.  I'm kinda afraid that working here in Korea will ALWAYS be like this.  I don't have close friends and am struggling with finding friends that I can be close with. And I'm struggling with learning the language which would PROBABLY help with that making friends thing, ya know?   


I always feel tired and I'm struggling with making sure I treat my body well in regard to what I put in it and the exercise I give to it.  Creatively, I don't really feel like I'm doing much to 'exercise' that muscle either.  I have nebulous plans to do things in the future, but...sometimes I'm not sure how to make them happen.


I will admit that I"m studying languages pretty often and now I"m writing nearly every day in hope that I'll be inspired to work on a few more "Hunter, the Hero Bird' books, but I struggle with eating right and getting enough rest, and basically doing things that will make my life one which is THRIVING.  


I keep trying, but I--sometimes--feel like the effort is fruitless at this moment.    I don't want to give up, though.  Any advice?


Thanks for letting me vent.   


Love y'all!


Thursday, July 10, 2025

Calling the Muses: Day 2

11JUL25 6:22 a.m.  Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-si

First off...I haven't been sleeping very well the last few nights, plus I slept HORRIBLY when I was in The States cos of jet lag, so maybe none of what I write today will make any sense.  It is early. I awoke in the wee hours and wasn't able to get back to sleep.  I've been up for four hours. I MIGHT have slept around....maybe 5.   I think today might be a bit of a challenge with my munkins cos it's Friday and they are often a little bit 'wild' on Friday.  But--I can get through it.  I'll be off work in 10 1/2 hours!


I've been working on a new eating lifestyle for the past two months. (Consider buying 'Perfect Health: The Natural Way' by Mary-Ann Shearer)  I actually really BELIEVE in this way of eating and believe it will work for my health; however, I'm really struggling with implementing SOME of the aspects of it. I'm really annoyed that--somewhere inside of me--there is this inclination to feel GUILT when I don't choose the most healthy of options.  I know that the human body and psyche will sometimes need to 'cheat' and that it is--in general--to do so, sometimes.   But I really don't like the guilt and I wish I could find a way to get rid of it.   Any ideas?


Also, I was really surprised the other morning, when I weighed for the first time in at least 2 weeks, that I HAD NOT gained weight while eating everything I wanted for the 8 days I was away from Korea visiting family in The States.  In fact, I had lost a pound!  Weird! (Rachel Zeigler has slightly ruined this word for me.  Every time I hear it, I think of her patronizing way of mocking a classic movie that was very apropos for its time.)   Anyway, this health journey is one step at a time, so I'm going to work toward a time when...maybe...a week or two goes by without me making the least healthy choice!  


It's been so hot in Seoul that I haven't done much walking lately...beyond what is required to get to and from work.  However, the other night--when I couldn't sleep--I went for a walk around 2:40 in the morning.  The temp was in the 80s, but it was SO DRY that it felt cooler.  I really love it when the humidity is low.  The problem is that I am NOT normally up at 2:40 in the morning AND the district where I live in Seoul (though Seoul is EXTREMELY safe as a  whole) is considered the 'murder' capital of Seoul, so a part of me doesn't necessarily feel like going around walking while the bad guys might still be up and about it the wisest idea I've ever had. So, I have a quandary.  When I sleep well, I like getting up early. I usually study languages and maybe write a bit, like I'm doing now.  I wonder if there is a way to find the time to do some walking first-thing, too.  I feel like there is not enough time, but maybe if I did my lunch prep the night before I could swing it??  


Anyway, those are the thoughts I've written down this a.m. during day # 2 of my new attempt to lure my writing muses back from their extended vacations.   Hope y'all have a great Friday and 좋은 주말 보내세요!


Love ya!


Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Calling the Muses

 10JUL25-6:40 a.m. Hwagok-dong, Gangseo-gu, Seoul-si. 07702


I have 1 hour and 50 minutes before I ABSOLUTELY must be leaving my tiny apartment in order to get to work JUST in the nick of time.  I also have to prep some lunch and maybe clean up a little.  At least I have my outfit planned!

Today I’m going to TRY very HARD to drink only water except at lunch. That way I can keep my braces in for most of the day.  I only have about 7 weeks left of these things and there are still some gaps in my left top section. (ya know…the area where the food gets stuck?)  This ‘braces’ situation is one of many that remind me that I am not REALLY good at being a REAL adult.   My health (and lack of will power regarding it) is another aspect of myself which supports this idea that I’m not really good at it.

But, I’m trying.  I mean, I actually have a job where I’m in charge of other people all day long. Granted they are 4-6 year old people, but STILL. I’m doing something important and well.

I really want to get back to writing and hopefully get a few more Hunter books written so that I can maybe have a stream of income in my old age.  

The problem is that my writing muses are almost always off on a vacation…probably somewhere tropical with their toes in the sand under a pink umbrella drinking unsweetened iced teas which are brought to them regularly by handsome, fit and healthy, flirty-smiling, dark-haired twenty-something.  I can totally understand why they don’t really want to come back.   But I really need them back, so I’m going to try to spend at least ten minutes every day writing—something—so that maybe they’ll feel compelled to return to me.


I’m also studying Duolingo every day. I’m going to be living here in Korea for at least five more years and then somewhere else after that.  I’m really drawn to the ABC islands in the Caribbean, so I’m studying Dutch (which so far is SURPRISINGLY easy) and continuing in my learning of Spanish. I have about a 40% proficiency with it. For now, I’m studying ONLY Dutch because I want to catch up my Dutch to my Spanish.  Then when that happens (in 22 units), I’ll do one unit of Dutch, one unit of Spanish, and then as many units of Korean as I can every day.  Since I still have at least ‘til February of 2031 here in Korea (if my nebulous plans stay the same) then I need to continue trying to become proficient in Korean, too. If I'm honest, though, Korean is MUCH harder than the other two.  And I feel more drawn to the other two because I see my progress much more swiftly.  

Part of that is likely because Spanish and Dutch use the same letting system as English.  Another part is because I have been exposed to Spanish regularly for 46 years, so it is just more ‘comfy’ than many other languages.  An additional part is that Dutch feels like English spoken with a little bit of an attitude. LOL I mean…it is EXTREMELY easy sometimes, especially if you’ve had ANY exposure to German. An example: what do you think ‘De man eet een appel’ means?   I KNOW you got it right.  Sure, you have to learn the verb tenses (which they don’t REALLY have in Korean, as much) but it is still really easy.  

The reason, by the way, that I’ve chosen to learn Dutch is because it is the governmental language on the ABC islands because they were once Netherland (ic?) (ish?) colonies.   

I’ve always loved the beach and would really like to live near once; however, I DO NOT want to be in the hurricane belt.  And, supposedly–according to the modern day encyclopedia (you know, Google), they only get hit by hurricanes every 25 to 30 years. 

Anyway, I think that may be enough for today.  It is 7:02 a.m. and I should probably get started on preparing lunch.  (Ninety-Nine % of the time, I bring lunch from home)    Therefore, I will bid you adieu! (Crosses fingers) Here’s hoping this call to My Writing Muses will come home soon!


Love y’all!


Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Authority

 The idea of AUTHORITY is replete in the Bible. It has been this way since the beginning of time. After all, God spoke the very world into existence. That is the ultimate authority! Early on, it is clearly illustrated (Deut. 11: 26-28) that God's word is something which we ought to follow AND that there are consequences if we do not follow it. That is authority. Later on, authority is shown to belong to Christ (Matthew 17:5; 28:18-20.) As I said, authority is EVERYWHERE in the Bible.

Every christian understands the concept of authority. If they don't understand it, they would never have obeyed the Gospel. Why would anyone ever bother to be baptized and make efforts to be obedient if he didn't believe in an Authority who says that, without obedience, spiritual death is assured? You cannot continue in Christianity without a committment to submitting to the authority of God and His word (the Bible.)
Here is my main point. You are allowed to believe (because of free will) whatever you want about the acceptability of using musical instruments in worship, whether you are right or wrong. However, you should know (before you try to use this argument anymore) that the word authority is a NOUN and the word authorized is an ADJECTIVE. But they are basically the SAME word. Therefore, you will not be able to support (logically, anyway) your theology with the argument that the word "authorized" is not present in the King James version of the Bible. It may be true that the word is not physically printed in the pages of your Bible, however, the concept of "authorized" is painted on every single page of the 66 books of the Bible...and with bright colors that anyone can recognize.

Just some food for thought, y'all.

Drama Class Final Grade Comments

 I know this will seem like bragging to some, but I was so pleased and gratified with the comments that my acting professor wrote on my final that I really want to share them.


Loralee,
-Both monologues were outstanding!
-Your work is some of the best I've ever seen.
-I HOPE you will continue as an actress--in some way--either professional or amateur--because you have that raw talent necessary.
Anyway, you have been a tremendous JOY in class!

Final: 100

Saturday, May 10, 2025

From the cobwebs: Mother's Day 2008

 Current mood: thankful

So, this morning, I was at Whataburger having breakfast and preparing a package to send to my mom (for mother's day) and my dad (for his birthday) and I decided that I would write a poem for my mom in her card. It is very very very very very corny, but I think mom's, in general, don't mind those kinds of poems. So, I thought I'd give y'all a good laugh, too. Happy Mother's Day all of my wonderful friends who are mothers!

Here it is:

On this day we celebrate our mothers,
I'll have you know that, to me, there is no other

who can compare to the fabulosity that is you.
Why, on a cold day, no one can make a greater stew!!

And, I"m quite sure that a scrape or two you tended,
and those small teenage broken hearts you mended.

Many life lessons to me, you patiently taught.
(well--you tried anyway. I'm kinda stubborn!!)
Dinners, Claudes, and hotel rooms you bought.

Mostly though, you cheerfully encourage me in all endeavors
even to the point of reading bad poetry on Mother's day-no matter the weather!

Saturday, January 25, 2025

From the Cobwebs: The thing is...

 The thing is...

Current mood: disgusted and amazed at the audacity of some people

...you, "M'sH", do not get to decide where my soul is going. God does. Though it sounds like I'm being snotty and defensive... I just gotta say this one thing: Perhaps you ought to be looking at your own soul. Jesus more often dealt with sinners in a gentle manner. Aren't we supposed to model ourselves after Him? Very rarely did He raise His voice. He wasn't defamatory. He wasn't hateful. His concern was for souls. It did not lie with being right or being some "knife point", circle drawing crusader for God or with His own reputation. YOU...however...are angry, and hateful, and impatient, and undeservingly self-righteous, and you make assumptions which your "evidence" does not support. Yes!!!!!! Please, please do some introspection M'sH...and use the standard of God's Word when you do it...so that you can see what you really look like and the damage you have done to the Bride of Christ!! You've been away from the mirror long enough, sir. You've forgotten what YOU look like. My suggestion is that you look in the mirror again. I think I see something in your eye. Yeah...just there.

p.s. I've been praying for you.