From the Cobwebs: The Promise

 

This poem was written by Mother in 1971 as she watched a two-year-old Loralee sleep. It reads, in part, like a conversation or prayer to God regarding her hopes and fears of the role she played as a mother. Through the years, I have harbored in my heart some questions as to whether or not she really wanted or loved me due to some of the behavior she exibited toward me, especially in comparison to my siblings. This little part of me really appreciates reading this poem, years later, and knowing, for certain, that at one time, my welfare, my spiritual path, and the kind of person I would become mattered to her. It is a really lovely poem.

The Promise

I watched my baby's face tonight
as she lay curled in sleep,
and wondered how, on God's great earth
the promise I could keep.

To guide her and to show her...
Not to do just the things I said,
But ready her to attempt the things
Just right for her, instead.

To help her learn to know herself
and be proud of what she knew...
and maybe...just a little,
She'd be proud of Mommy, too.

Can I teach her what it means to be
A mother and a wife?
Yet never let her see the tears
at the sound of a distant fife?

Can I let her have her heartaches
And learn with them, as I did?
Can I remember, while she's learning,
That I, too, was once a kid?

Can I teach her how to clean a house
When my example isn't great?
Can I teach her to be on time
If I am almost always late?

Can I teach her all the things
That my Mom taught to me?
Can I, in teaching them to her,
Somehow become a better me?

God, help me keep the promise
Given at her birth,
To guide the child you've loaned me
and make hers a better earth.

Pattalee Glass-Ford-November 9, 1971

-- An end note: Whilst typing this poem onto a Myspace blog, I noticed the date on which she wrote this poem. It just brings chills to my heart. Some of you know that just a few years after Mother wrote this poem pleading with God that she would be able bring me up in the right way and make sure she would do right by the God who gave me to her...she left God and the church behind her. But somehow, strangely, this prayer she prayed in poem form came to fruition because twenty years after she wrote the above poem, on November 9, 1991, I was baptized into Christ and became a part of God's church. Exactly 20 years later, to the day.