From the Cobwebs: To the man at whole foods

 This is something I found on another site and moved it.  I think it was written in the late digits--from '04='09.

2:45 pm - the man buying milk at Whole Foods this morning

Okay, so I have been neglecting this useful tool and today I have a lot to talk about. I want to start with the yucky and go to the great so that I can maybe get in a better mood by the time I am done. And, actually, now that I am thinking about it… I might have mostly bad. but I’ll try to do what I can here. Today, I awakened early because I had to go to the AISD substitute orientation which was from 8:15 to 3:30. So I get up, make breakfast, and get dressed. Jeremy showed up early…about 7 (in fact, almost on the dot) and he sat with me and talked while I ate breakfast. He was telling me all about this fascinating program he watched on discovery or something about the pounds of pressure that are exerted on “food” by different types of animals. It was pretty interesting.. but we chatted and I got a few moments to get to know him better which was nice. He is a nice 20 year old boy….err. young man.  so, we drive around and get off track and almost lost, but I make it to the AISD headquarters in time for the orientation. Jeremy dropped me off and then left. So I go to the sub office and find out that I am TOTALLY at the wrong place. And that there is pretty much NO WAY, without a car, that I can get to the orientation class in time for it to start..or to even be anywhere NEAR the first 100 people to be in line. O.k., so color me disappointed, angry with myself for not paying attention to details(because somewhere in the back of my mind I KNEW that I was going to the wrong place…but somehow, I managed to ignore myself. So, I walk out onto sixth streeth grumbling at myself.. Then I noticed that the air was crisp and cool… and I was near downtown. I was overcome with excitement!!! Something I”ve always wanted to do was just to walk around downtown (when it is cool) and just look and wonder and explore. And I had seen the whole foods store as we were driving to AISD building a few moments before so I thought to myself… “hmmmm, well, no one expects me ANYWHERE until 3:30…so I think I”ll take a few moments to explore.” I walked in and walked around…talked to people, complimented a few, asked about candles, incense, tea, italian/indian/mediterranean spices, and fresh organic vegetables. I really had a good time as I am want to do when I am someplace where there are strangers. As I was checking out in the self checkout aisle, I noticed a man had gone to another self checkout lane near me. I noticed that he was just checking out a few items, one of them being milk. I noticed that it was about the size of what I bought…perhaps a bit smaller. It looked different and had a carton which suggested to me that it might be organice. I purposely slowed my checkout movements so that I could see what the price of the milk was. I was shocked beyond measure when it rang up at $1.29!!!! So, I walked over in the fairly safe and secure environment of a public grocery store, and asked him about his milk. Perhaps I fumbled over my words, (as I can sometimes do, also) but I know I approached him with a friendly smile and a nice attitude. He looked at me with quite an unfriendly glare and demanded, “DO YOU MIND?” I was shocked at his rudeness, and I’m afraid I chose to answer in not the BEST way, but not a terrible way, either. I said to him, “well, yes, you go ahead and excuse yourself, and I”ll excuse myself” something in me probably wanted him to have some kind of inkling that his behavior was less than stellar. I KNOW that I am idealistic and naïve and I expect people to behave with respect and courtesy….and I believe in it most of the time, but this man surely shattered my little bubble of naivete. I was very upset and angry at him. I left mumbling under my breath and his twerpiness and almost let him ruin my morning. He WAS in the wrong in my opinion. And He shouldn’t have treated me that way, but I could have just put my coping skills to use earlier than I did. I fell into my own trap..and I am almost more upset about that than I am that he was a rude jerk. I KNOW I have these issues, right? I know that when people act that way…someone deep down inside of me feels that they are rejecting me…. That I am not worthy of them..or at least that THEY think so. I forget to implement my tools. The most important one being that HE has his own issues about whatever…and that is why he responded in an unkind and rude way. I responded to my own hurt for a few minutes before it finally kicked in “the tools did” I mean. I let him control two or three minutes of my day. And it is very sad. I wanted to say to him. “oh, pardon me, Mr. “Oh, I’m buying organic foods because I love the earth and I love humanity and I love the baby seals” I’m sorry that a member of your human society needed a bit of that love for humanity for about TEN MEASLY SECONDS while you answered a simple question about the kind of milk you had just bought.” I felt that it is POSSIBLE that the man is a hypocrit. I realize that there is no way I could really judge if he were one of the austin hippie types that I described above…but I figure he is. I just felt like, “Oh, you’re just oooohhhh so much better than me mr. Austin hippie freak that it is beneath your time and contempt to expend more energy or lovingkindness for TEN SECONDS to one of your fellow earthlings.” I don’t like feeling rejected. I don’t like my little bubble of naivete to be popped. I want every one to be nice. I know that I’m not always. I know it. I try. I don’t always succeed. Maybe he USUALLY tries also and this was one of his “not succeeding days? Good did come of it, however, I walked away from the store grumbling and eventually started walking eastward on sixth street…thinking I could find a bus over there somehow. I walked and walked in downtown and had a great time looking at buildings and people and greeting them. I saw a building.. the stratford arms building, I think it is called. And I saw some colors and shapes on it which inspired me with a great idea for a necklace. And later I saw a young man walking along who was wearing some colors which also gave me some great ideas. I walked way too much for someone who was just in an accident and hurt her hips only one week ago today. But I had a good time. Granted by the time I got home, I was sore as can be….but I am home and did manage to get a 25 minute nap. Maybe another one in a few minutes Anyway, I am going to strive diligently to put mr. Organic milk man out of my mind. I have said what I wanted/needed to say even if it WAS too sarcastic. I hope he really enjoys his milk. current mood:  infuriated, disenchanted (comment on this)

Friday, August 5th, 2005