July 7th, 2009 365-Day 17

 I have so many things I want to talk about, but I don't have time to write them all. Hopefully, Ill have time to be more expansive once summer II comes around because I won't have classes, just work.

Today, I was pricked in the heart on several things. One happened after class. (I'll prolly talk about the other ones on another day) I was walking out with a classmate and I found out some things about her that were not what I decided about her. I hadn't decided anything terrible about her, but as we talked, I realized that she was not what I was thinking. And I realized that I have to be more careful about how I look at people and assess them. On the other hand, there has been--for nearly the length of the whole class—something that has drawn me to her. I know that sounds weird, but it isn't. I have always had this sense of goodness and real and natural beauty in her. When I say "beauty" by the way, I'm not necessarily meaning it in the conventional sense, although that sense is also true about her. I mean, something good shines out of her. Kind of like her good heart just shines out of her. The same is true of Sami, another girl in our class whom I know believes in and loves God. It is interesting to see and I hope the same is true of me. Sometimes I tend to doubt, but perhaps, I know all of my foibles and I don't know all of theirs. I also know my doubts of others, my judgments of others, my impatience with others, my tendency to play the martyr. With knowing these things, I wonder if I'm a very good example of Christianity. But then, sometimes when I doubt my self the most, someone comes up and says to me, "I was just telling my friend about you yesterday. How you came to school as a non-traditional student and you aren't afraid to express your views and your feelings about God. You don't let the professor browbeat you. And I think that is really cool." So, maybe I’m not as bad at this job I have as I think I am. And on the other hand, I still have work to do since—as I said the other day—I am infallible and have faults and foibles. Sigh. Anyway, whatever the truth is, I hope I keep encouraging y'all and I hope y'all keep encouraging me, because it is in those moments of encouragement that we get what Billy Joel calls our "second wind." And although, Mr. Joel isn't right about everything, I like his idea about a second wind, and a third one, and a fourth one. I’m so thankful that God give us so many chances to keep trying to get it right.