Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Explanations--sort of

So, it really has been awhile since I’ve posted on this blog or the camera blog connected to this one.
It is weird, really. I love writing and I love taking photographs. For some reason; however, I haven’t wanted to do either for about a month and a half. It is a really interesting situation because my brain tells me that I’m depressed (not wanting to do the things you usually love) but I don’t FEEL depressed like I usually feel depressed. After some thought on the subject, I’ve realized that tendency toward depression was prolly passed on to me via genetics. Not only DO I get it via DNA, but also, in 2002--after my mother died--I was diagnosed by my doc with depression and even put on some meds. And really, a depression after the death of a loved one isn’t really unusual. My mom who raised me (a different person than my Mother) said that I was more depressed than some people because I think that Mother won’t be in Heaven. Perhaps that is true. But anyway, it looks like I have digressed, really.
I don’t know what to think. I have what seem like the signs, but don’t have what also seem like OUGHT to be the signs. Does that make ANY sense? I just know that I don’t feel altogether right and I don’t like it. Anyway, I kinda wanted to let my few faithful readers—and lookers at my photo blog—why it is I haven’t been posting. I just haven’t felt like it. And it doesn’t make sense to me. Some have suggested boredom. But if I were bored, wouldn’t I do MORE of the things I loved and the things that interested me? I just don’t know and I hope this thing turns around. If you’re praying people, maybe you could add me to your list, yeah?
I’m also struggling with how to deal with it. In case you don’t already know, I have diabetes and a few of the “sister” diseases which go along with it. I have some issues with blood pressure and cholesterol and the like. So, I’m taking 2 pills for diabetes, an insulin shot every night, a pill for blood pressure, an 81 mg aspirin, and some meds for neuropathy pain in my feet. I don’t really want to take another pill for depression, yeah?
I’m trying to handle it as naturally as I can. I did some research online and found that some studies show that things like coconut oil, citrus fruit, spinach and St. John’s Wort are supposed to be really great natural ways to combat depression. I’ve been taking them every day (well, except spinach—we often run out so that I can’t eat it every day) and really, they help a little cos I don’t FEEL depressed, but I do all at the same time. Last Autumn—before I began the natural regimen—I FELT depressed all around. I don’t really know what to do and I guess I just needed to talk about it. I don’t mind kind-hearted and helpful comments, by the way. Or the praying. Or just the listening. Thanks. :)

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