Rhapsody in the Key of 'F'

 Reposted from FB from 29MAR09

Rhapsody in the Key of 'F'

    For felipe, who understands that a free-spirited heart needs to express itself as it was designed to do.

Rhap-so-dy

-Music. an instrumental composition irregular in form and suggestive of improvisation.

-An ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm.

-an unusually intense or irregular poem or piece of prose.

    He is singing about the smiling sky; and I feel my heart melt with every word. He is singing about the shining sun; and I am shocked to catch a glimpse of the future. I see him singing again. But this time, the song is 'The Bedtime Song' and his two curly-headed sons are looking up at him with adoration.

    Purely, I feel lust. I want his straight back. I want his pale chest with the few black hairs peeking through his partially unbuttoned blue-and-white patterned shirt. I want his flat stomach and strong legs. I want to be a part of him. I want to be inside him.

    He turns to look at me one last time before he leaves. His brown eyes are smiling, along with his mouth. In his look, I see friendship. I see family. I see a certain kind of want that is not quite lust and not quite not. Is that possible? Am i seeing things?

    I find I want to touch his leg--just above the knee--in a proprietary way. And I want to feel the heat from his chest against my back as he stands just behind me with his hands on my hips in the same proprietary way. I want him to own me. I want to own him.