Oh My God!

This little post was written by Karolina. I found her on blogspot.

A man sits in his house, opening his mail.
He has in his hand an envelope containing
a letter from his local authority, outlining
next year’s council tax charges . . .
‘Oh my God!’
‘What?’
‘Who said that?’
‘Said what?’
‘What!’
‘Oh, what, I did.’
‘Who’s I?’
‘I is God.’
‘Now you’re beginning to sound like Ali G.’
‘Ah, he just thinks he’s God.’
‘Anyway, I didn’t think you existed. I
thought you were just a myth.’
‘Surprise!’
‘What if I don’t want to talk to you?’
‘Stop calling my name.’
‘But that’s just a figure of speech.
Everyone uses it.’
‘Nevertheless, every time you use my
name you have my undivided attention.’
‘I don’t want your undivided attention. I
don’t need your undivided attention.’
‘So, try a different name.’
‘Hmm. ‘Oh my Tony!’ doesn’t quite have
the same ring to it, does it?’
‘Tony is, I admit, a poor substitute.’
‘Can’t you just leave me alone? I’m too
busy to be worrying about God and faith and
all that stuff. I’ve got bills to pay!’
‘But I care about you.’
‘What!? What’s that supposed to mean?
How am I meant to believe that? You’re
never around.’
‘I’m always here. You just choose not to
see me.’
‘But you’re invisible!’
‘To the naked eye.’
‘So, should I get some of those 3D
specs?’
‘No. Just call my name.’
‘I still can’t see you.’
‘Do you only believe what you
see?’
‘It helps. Anyway, I don’t want to
get dragged into some deep religious
debate with you; I’m busy.’
‘OK, but I want you to know that I
do love you.’
‘Why? I don’t love you.’
‘I can’t help it. I just do.’
‘I still don’t see how that’s supposed
to affect me when I can’t see
you or touch you or smell you.’
‘We’re talking now, aren’t we?’
‘Yes, but this is just an imaginary
conversation. It’s just fiction.’
‘It doesn’t have to be.’
‘You say that, but I still don’t think
you make yourself very accessible.
Don’t you have a website or an email
address? I do most of my correspondence
by email these days.’
‘I’ve got plenty of websites that
talk about me, but wouldn’t you
rather talk to me?’
‘OK, yes, that would be preferable,
but how?’
‘Just call my name.’
‘What? Like I did at the start of
this conversation?’
‘Maybe not in the same context.’
‘Oh yeah, right, the whole name
thing. Oh, while you’re on the line:
Council Tax, don’t suppose you could
do something about that could you?
Have you seen what they want to
charge me. . . ?
‘Is that really the most pressing
thing you need to talk to me about?’
‘Erm, no, I suppose not. Well, look,
I’m off. Maybe I’ll be in touch.’
‘I look forward to it.’